Kali & Duality

​For a number of years I have been partial to Kali, the Hindu goddess of destruction. Actually, destruction is just one aspect of Kali; she is also known as the goddess of time and change. A literal translation of her name is “the black one”. And in many texts she is referred to as “she who destroys.”  The Kalika Purana describes Kali as “possessing a soothing dark complexion, as perfectly beautiful, riding a lion, four-armed, holding a sword and blue lotuses, her hair unrestrained, body firm and youthful.“
I’ve been in many yoga classes where the teacher emphasizes opening your heart center, letting in light, and emanating peace and acceptance. And trust me, I think, we, the world needs as much of this attitude as we can get. But we also need balance. In even the most enlightened and gentle creatures there is darkness and aggression. It may be buried, repressed, or completely ignored but I believe it’s there in all of us. I believe we need to honor our dark natures and that it is important to recognize that without destruction we can’t have rebirth or new life or fresh energy.
I have been known to struggle with my dark side and my aggressive nature. I had this idea that yoga teachers should not have darkness or aggression. When I taught yoga, at times, I felt fraudulent in my teaching of yoga – talking about peace and light ALL the time. Let me put it this way: I was meditating once and as Rod Stryker’s voice was relaxing me into greatness, out of nowhere, I had a vision of someone breaking into our house and me blasting them away with a shotgun. 

​In September of 2009 I started to train in Hung Gar Kung Fu. I started to learn ways to channel my aggression to times and places where it may truly be needed and appropriate. Kung Fu brought the fighter in me to the surface and then shaped my aggression into something that is more easily reconciled with the softer, more hidden, side of my personality. My former Sifu helped me understand that there is darkness in all of us, AND, that if applied in the right way at the right time, that darkness can be an extremely valuable tool. Kung Fu enabled me to truly accept my more aggressive tendencies. And something completely unexpected happened when I accepted my aggressive personality – I softened. It was like a veil lifted and I could see the yin and the yang. I could see the light and the dark. I could shoot the shotgun and open my heart to love and light.
Life is never a black or white proposition. I always knew this but at the same time I was missing that I could be aggressive and peaceful all at once. And while I do not bow to or worship any entity, Kali has become my patron goddess of sorts. She allows me to embrace destruction, aggression, and change. And in this embrace I find ease and light.  I am a hard shell with a soft interior. I am strong and weak. I am dark and light. Kali destroys and makes way for endless possibilities. Kali gives me a way to embrace my dual nature.